Read this today

Today,I felt you needed to read something on this blog. I do not have anything to wrie, so I decided to copy the writings of one of my friends, Kuria Mwangi. Whether he is a greta writer or not, I'll let you be the judge of that. So, here goes.
Odhy, is,
As a minister for religion, I have decided to take a front seat on educating these folks on manners
and the need to reduce on ulevi. Have you noted that Kenyans in this area (VA-DC-MD) are noted for ulevi
among the immigrants? Several times I have been asked by other folks what i drink and when I tell them that I only do
wines since I follow our savior's path and they get shocked. That Kenyans are numero uno on alcohol abuse. They need to visit Meru (am not
talking about your mama but Meru district) and they will know why it won the cup for the best beer drinkers in the country. Even here Wameru wanaongoza kwa barabara na kwa point and so KBL should promptly give Meru district the trophy for Diasporas beer drinkers. Murang'a district is following Meru in drinking here in Baltimore and we only beat Merus because there are too few and baltimore ni Murang'a dogo. Lakini hata wajaluo are doing very well and I am yet to see one who doesnt drink, even the saved ones including wale wa Legio Maria like you. The best beer drinker from Western Kenya is that friend of yours who is twice the size of Mike Tyson. The one who scared the hell out of that DJ hapo Catonsville after they drank too much. That fellow can get a job at BWI Airport of pulling airplanes to the hanger and can pull small cars with his teeth. He looks like was man made because I have not seen anybody created by God that big and strong. The other huge fellow is another friend of yours who drives trains but this one is humble. What of the guy who sings for Jabali Africa? His biceps scares the hell out of any human being and he likes exposing them in public. What is happening to Kenyans from Western Kenya? They grow too tall, too strong and too big once they land in this country which makes other fellows think we have super human beings manufactured in Kenya. The Governor of California looks too thin compared to your friends.

On another note, are people named Kamau genetically inclined to be alcoholic? This Kamau wa PA and your friend Kamau. There is another Kamau living here in Baltimore you probably have not met who is also a wombler and is drank all the times. Two weeks ago I solved a domestic kind of crisis. He lives with his cousin, also called Kamau and also a drunkard. Both Kamaus got drank. One Kamau brought home a heavy weight Black American woman from East Baltimore (500 pound Gozilla). The Kamau who brought the Gozilla did what he had to do and left for night shift work in a nursing home and left the Gozilla sleeping. The other Kamau went to pee in the house where they both live and he claims he staggered to the Gozilla's bed and slept next to her. The Gozilla claimed that he thought her Kamau is the one who slept next to her and assumed he came back from work after early dismissal. The gozilla undressed Kamau II and claims she assumed she was undressing Kamau I. Before long, Kamau wa Pili was busy starting from where Kamau wa pili had stopped.

The cousin (Kamau wa kwanza) arrived in the morning to find his Gozilla naked, snoring and asleep and his cousin, Kamau wa pili on top asleep and snoring also. He started crying but that never woke the two lovers. So he decided to drink silly and then beat both his cousin and the Gozilla.

As an minister of religion and their spiritual advisers, I was asked to go solve the domestic dispute. I was also a judge and all did was solve the dispute in an amicable manner.

I decided that Kamau wa pili should refund the money Kamau wa kwanza had spent on the Gozilla and also pay restitution. We agreed on $500.00 to repaid at the rate of $50 a month for restitution.

I will not even talk of two other Kamaus because their cases are even worse and they happen to be your friends and friends of other people in these fora.

I am only giving a sermon so that people can stop ulevi and behave. Pombe mbaya.

Kuria